This morning, I awoke from a dream …
There were clusters of Scorpion-like insects under my skin. It was as if they were shrink wrapped, with folds of skin unable to fully connect either with the insects or with my body. Having returned from a wedding that left me devastated, I took a pair of surgical scissors and I began to cut into the folds of skin on my leg. I slowly cut around the edge of where the skin actually met my body–like when a blister breaks and leaves a tab. As I peeled it away, the condensed blood diffused in water slowly dripped onto the insects and onto the raw flesh they’d been nestled in and eating. I pulled them off, even as they tried to remain attached. The flesh was raw, but it wasn’t bleeding. It was as tender as it could be, but finally, it was exposed to the fresh air rather than wrapped up, air-tight. Finally, it could breathe. Finally, it could heal.
This is the healing of Scorpio. The wounds that seem the hardest. The pain that feels the deepest. The stings that are so agonizing that we actually start to become used to them and take them on as pieces of our identity. The guilt, shame, and secrets that we try to seal away in air-tight containers, lest someone discover that we are not perfect or that we are not who we project ourselves to be. These are the wounds that Scorpio heals. These are the wounds that are deep in our psyches. These are the traumas whose grooves our neurons can’t imagine finally getting knocked out of. Until, one day … we get knocked out.
A final TKO usually happens as the result of a jab—an attack from the front. But the jab is often most effective because it was assisted by an upper cut and/or a solid side hook. Healing is the same way sometimes. You dance, you duck, you block. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, you get an upper cut, but, watch out for that side hook—that’s what sets you up for the final TKO. This is what healing can look like sometimes. The demons want to stay. The pain wants to stay. And it’s amazing how hard we can fight sometimes to keep that pain there. Because who would you be without your pain? You would be a whole person who could no longer make excuses, who could no longer blame others. You would be a person who had to take complete responsibility for your life. Your identity would have to be defined by what you contribute to the world rather than by what the world has taken from you.
Like Toni Cade Bambara wrote, “wholeness is no triflin’ matter.”
A New Moon is the Dark Moon. Scorpio rules the Dark Moon. It is damp, moist, musty. After all, Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, lord of the underworld. But damp, moist, musty places are also where things go to grow. In traditional agriculture, we plant seeds on the new moon so that they will grow with the phases of the moon and they will manifest themselves, burst through the soil as the moon culminates into its fullest expression. This weekend, sit in the darkness of the moon. Sit in the darkness of Scorpio. It is both death and rebirth. What do you need to heal? What within yourself needs to die a final death? What are the experiences, patterns, and pieces of yourself that die hard? Scorpio is the sign of exorcisms. What are you ready to exorcise? The opposing sign to Scorpio is Taurus. Taurus is prepared to massage you into something. Taurus will massage you out of your challenges slowly and gently. Scorpio ain’ into that kinda life. Scorpio just wants it gone—like an exorcism. Like an exorcism, the healing can be painful. Scorpio cuts. Scorpio stings. Scorpio burns. But it cuts that shit out. Its sting and its burn can heal in a way that no other energy can heal. It’s healing goes deep. It is, after all, the sign of penetration.
Scorpio can penetrate you deeper than any other sign. That’s why it’s the only sign that can also heal wounds that result from penetration—which reflects the current revelations of sexual abuse and harassment. Feeling overwhelmed by the sheer pervasiveness of sexual abuse and harassment right now? That’s Scorpio. Drive it all out, one time. Scorpio rules sexual abuse. It also rules sexual healing, though. Do you know what that is–really? If not, you might be finding out sooner than later.
All healing, all releasing, is like an exhale. As long as you’re still alive, you must inhale, you must bring fresh air into your life, you must inspire. As deep and painful as that release can be, the inspiration and new life to follow will be at least equally as great. Sexual healing comes in many forms—they’re not even all physical. Because (as Scorpio can tell you), real sex—the mind blowing, toe curling kind that breaks open portals and sends you into streams of cosmic consciousness–isn’t just physical. It is emotional, psychological, spiritual, transformative, life-changing. It can come through any channel. It is a gift from god. It literally blows your mind–as in, breaking open, allowing to release. And finally, as you come into union with another, as you literally lose yourself and create a new spiritual entity, you experience a unique kind of death. Are you prepared for this sort of intensity? If not, perhaps this New Moon, this weekend, is a good time to prepare for exorcisms, lobotomies, and the deep healing that can only come from the terrifying pleasure of losing yourself to become one with god.
Scorpio New Moon Blessings,
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